Polished and elegant.

Little known fact: Harlow loves polishing silver. It’s true, the more tarnished, the better. I actually enjoyed coming home from college and polishing the Nana’s silverware at Christmas, only to watch her put it back in the drawer on December 26th, wait 365 days and do it again. It is so satisfying, people!

But until recently, I did not own any silver polish myself. Why? Because really the only silver I have that needs polishing is my ancient Elsa Peretti heart (practically part of the dress code in New England boarding schools), and those infuriating places on the Cape Cod bracelet that get black even though you wear it everyday. I will never understand this.

Anyhoo, while replacing a lost earring back (argh), I was pitched the Tiffany & Co. silver polish by the girl in the Express-looking stretchy black suit at Customer Service. We’ll call her “Tiffani,” for simplicities’ sake.

Tiffani: “We stand by our silver polish.”

(She said this in a tone that was at once bored and superior – how do they do that?)

Harlow (eyebrow raised): Really? This is the same polish that you use back there?

“Absolutely.”

Moment of staredown standoff.

Me: “How much?”

It’s only $5! I figured that was worth a try, and snagged the small bottle, no polishing cloth, thanks very much, and set off home to test it out.

Well, it works fabulously! It gets the silver that really bright white look that Tiffany’s silver always has. Even a necklace chain came out very clean-looking and far from the tarnished black creature that it had been only moments before. The cream is very ‘liquid-y,’ (it looks and feels just like calamine lotion). It works gently, so polishing didn’t require a lot of “elbow grease,” and it’s non-abrasive, so it didn’t leave little scratches in the silver. Overall, it was $5 well-spent.

Doing a quick price check, here’s how it stacked out against some other popular silver polishes:

• Cape Cod Silver Polish: $19.99
• Hagerty Silver Polish: $8.99
• Sterling Silver 3M Tarni-Shield Silver Polish: $28.42

I’m impressed that Tiffany didn’t hike up the price because they are Tiffany, and that seems to be their bag, baby.

Bottom Line: I’m a believer. Snap yourself up a bottle and get that 925 looking like a bazillion bucks.

 

j.cruel

Okay we’re uber busy today with actual work (trag!) but something has been seriously bothering us. What is with J.Crew’s jewelry price inflation? Their jewelry is out of control expensive.

I shall illustrate.

exhibit a.

The Double-Strand Giraffe Necklace. Now, I know everyone loves an even-toed ungulate, I sure as hell do. But, $150? I don’t know. Where’s the respect? We humor you by purchasing the latest favorite tanks at full-on $16.50 even though we know they’ll be down to $4.99 in three weeks. Why must you taunt us J.Crew? Why must you string the heads of random artiodactyls on gray beads and pretend it’s worth $150?

And this I can’t even talk about:

exhibit b.

J.Crew, you can keep showing this on every model, in every picture, on every page, but we’re not buying it. In no universe is that lump of blue plastic and faux gold that will rub off in days actually worth $150. I’m sorry. No, don’t cry, J.Crew. This is called tough love. Mommy still loves your adore sour lemon suede peep toes!

This said, we guarantee we’ll be the first to snap up the ol’ Giraffe Double-Strand the moment it plummets to Final Sale status.

 

Van Cleef & Arpels Obsession Crisis Solved?

Maybe. Just maybe. Okay so on my walk to work this morning I passed a certain abhorrent store that I usually refuse to enter. BUT, then I saw it.

Let’s start at the beginning. Circa June 2007 I became increasingly interested in the Van Cleef and Arpels Alhambra necklace, better known as: the accessory making Reese Witherspoon even more adorable.

Tragically, this scarily gorgeous necklace costs around $5k. In the end my dreams were shattered. I once saw a knock-off, but it turned out it was $480. I mean, For reals? IT’S A KNOCKOFF.

So, today as I trundled to work, lugging gym clothes and feeling totally vancleefandarpels-less, I saw it. A decent VCA knock off (I use the term “decent,” in this case, quite liberally). There in the window, around the neck of a headless, multicolored spandex dress-clad mannequin, was a black and “gold” quatrefoil necklace that I knew would cost less than $30. And that’s how I solved my dilemma with a $29 necklace. From Arden B. Feel free to delete me from your blackberries. Because, while I am ashamed, I still get to trounce around town in a fairly good Alhambra.

At least until all the faux gold rubs off.

Reese rockin’ the genuine $8.1 bazillion version

Arden B: $28.00 (available online)