SPF 100: Liquid Tanning

My senior year in college, I went on Spring Break with two hilarious and beautiful girls – Paige and Blaire. We stumbled off the plane in the Dominican Republic a shade of pasty ,white-ish green that has never been seen before. No, not Nicole-Kidman-Fresh-Faced-Untouched-Skin pale. I am talking 5 months of brutal North-Eastern-winter-winds-3-hours-of-sunlight-a-day-Inuit-life-PALE.

Needless to say, we did not respect the extreme forces of the sun, and it punished us by skewering us and charring our skin within an inch of its life.

(sidenote: during the 9 weeks leading up to this trip we were all taking malaria pills. Why this was not a tipoff that maybe this was the wrong time of year to head to the DR, I’m not so sure. But, then again, we thought that the gas station 30 miles away that sold 30-racks of Keystone Light for $9.99 was a gift from God, so we may not have been the brightest bulbs in the tanning bed.)

ANYWHOO, not only did we came back 10 days later unrecognizable to our creampuff colored friends and covered in scabs from mosquito bites (yay Spring Break!), but I also arrived home with a small, light brown freckle looking splotch that I SWEAR IS A SUNSPOT! Shiloh says it’s been there since we met as awesome, very cool college freshman with great style (psych!), but I am convinced that she and my dermatologist are wrong and that it is, in fact, precancerous. In response to the arrival (or continued existence) of The Sun Spot, I am declaring this summer, SPF 100!

To help me not be a pasty alien, I have enlisted the following:

Jergen’s Natural Glow for Body ($8 ) with SPF 20

Jergen’s Natural Glow for Body ($8 )

I read about these in Real Simple, everyone said they were great, cheap and had the following characteristics:

1. No streaking.
2. Not orange.
3. No gross perfumey smell (I hate that)

Things I am concerned about: will it be even looking, or weird shades of orangey brown? also – will that spot on my back that I can’t reach be a weird pale color with orangey brown halo? will it (gasp!) rub off on my brand-new Jcrew sale items?

Today is Day 1. I will let you know how it goes.

I’m sure you’re at the edge of your seat.

 

two things you must purchase immediately.

Here are two recent purchases that make me gleefully happy:

1. Cole Haan Giovanna Woven Ballet Flat

These are a. gorgeous b. comfortable and c. on sale (but still kind of expensive). To justify this purchase, simply take the money you will spend on them and subtract the amount that you would have otherwise spent on reconstructive surgery from your Tory Burch Reva induced foot deformities. You’ll be miles ahead.

2. Pond’s Clean Sweep Cleansing & Makeup Removing Towelettes

Coco turned me onto these and let me say they are A (wait for it) MAHAAAAAAZING!!!!! I know that sounds like a lot of excitement for a makeup remover, but for reals these rock. Here’s why:

• For people with super sensitive and easily harmed skin (guilty), you can use these in place of face soap. The cleanser is so gentle, you don’t even have to rinse your face afterwards.
• For people with heartier facial surfaces or elite athletes (Shiloh) these are awesome to remove the workday makeup at the gym.
• Resealable package makes them perfect for office desk drawer, gym bag, suitcase

Now, go. Run. Consume!

 

I just bought….

Nivia (cellulite) Cream.

I will let you know who it works. The potential of this working is motivation I have never known! Swim Suit Season here I come!

I applied some this morning and it is a little like putting on Aloe Vera after a bad sun burn. It is always a self esteem boost to take BIG SWEEPING rub downs of my most self conscious areas. But hopefully it works and I end up looking like Gisele Bundchen.

 

Heart Hills! Heart WHITNEY!

LC: Oh my god. The Curling iron was on and was right by the dress.

Whitney: The curling iron does something like that?

LC: Yes, it’s fabric. it burns. I can’t go to the ball without a gown.

Tear.

I am not sure how to create a post that is unique, witty and insightful about The Hills. The criticism seems so obvious that I would feel cliche if I even tried to make original comments about last nights season premiere.

I cangive props to the make-up artist because LC and Lo have the most beautiful eyes that mesmerizing on the small screen(there may be part of the subliminal messaging implanted in the show). Sadly this make-up artists seems to have missed the flight to Crested Brutte, CO where Heidie was looking very alien like. Her lip augmentation and nose job have changed her face so much that it is hard to understand how Spencer can even carry on a “serious” conversation with her. I am hoping in the next episode we all get punked and she goes back to looking normal.

As for the above dialogue, I just had to document this scene. This interaction about the stain on the dress is so unbelievable. I think there would be a little more panic and a lot more profanity if Lauren really ruined some loaner couture dress.

The worst part is I love Whitney and you can tell she is totally the least interested in being a Reality TV star. It’s like she was just a normal intern at teen Vogue and MTV was like “HEY YOu. YES YOU. You are going to be on our tv show. Grab your desk and drag it over by Laurens. Good now when we put the camera on you just ask Lauren how her night was and after she answers ask her if anyone interesting was there. Great. Thanks.”

Actually they prob would not even say thanks. Jerks. But really Whitney always says her lines with a knowing smirk that makes you love her because its like she is playing along too. HEART WHITNEY!

 

au jus.

It’s not just for roast beef anymore!

Chloe, one of our fave brands (and also fave dog names. RIP chlobie!) has just launched a fantabulistic new fragrance called Au Jus, that we had the distinct pleasure of sampling at Saks last night. While we are the kind of people who really hate it when other people sniff wine and say things like “mmm, clean with a hint of green spice,” we found Au Jus to be…clean with a hint of green spice.

The initial scent was fresh and bright, but it definitely mellowed over time. After a few hours, the scent was warmer, but not cloying or sweet at all. Bonus: its name references a delicious dipping sauce for sandwiches, thus combining two of our favorite things: fashion and food!

Verdict: we love Au Jus and might be snagging ourselves a bottle of the eau de toilette in the very near future.

Note: Saks has the exclusive rights to sell Chloe Au Jus for one year, so I suggest you skip on over to Copley and test this mother out.